What's a Flifferhuzza?

    Often times, daily life becomes routine and lacks excitement. Tasks that were once enjoyable become tedious and jobs that were once fun become annoying. My life was no different. In the summer of 1997, I decided I needed a get away vacation filled with thrills and exciting activities. After countless hours of research, I decided to take a trip to Madagascar. 

    The flight cost only $20 because it was pre 9/11 and lets face it, Madagascar isn't the hottest tourist destination out there. More often then not, people will book a flight to Florida or Aruba before they decide to take a trip to Madagascar. Surprisingly, the flight flew by like the average weekend and before I knew it I was on the streets of Madagascar searching for my hotel. After 2 hours of wandering the streets hopelessly, I was forced to ask for directions. While asking for directions, I also asked what the best tourist attractions and activities were. The response I got was, "Skydiving. Yeah go skydiving for sure."

    Before I knew it, I was on a plane at an elevation of 13,000 feet going skydiving. I sat there nervously biting my nails and and shaking my leg furiously the entire flight. The pilot spoke absolutely no English and neither did the flight instructor. I was also the only one on the flight who would actually be jumping and that terrified me. Before I knew it, the instructor set me up with my parachute and guided me to the opening in the plane. With a sudden push, I was thrust out of the plane without warning. I opened my mouth to scream when all of the sudden an exotic purple dragonfly about the size of a dinner plate flew into my face at full speed: The rare Flifferhuzza was its name as the locals would letter inform me. We met with a splat  and  the guts invaded my mouth like an army of grime and innards. I immediately freaked out and pulled the chord to release my parachute. In a matter of seconds I passed out from the shock and I wouldn't wake up for another 5 hours. Luckily I had pulled my parachute prior to passing out so I was completely unharmed.

    Upon waking up I found my self in a dirt hut -- a state of the art Madagascar-an hospital. The tightly packed mud walls were spinning around me and I didn't feel quite right. After 20 minutes my vision went back to normal and then suddenly, a gigantic, human sized Flifferhuzza flew into the room. I passed out again.

    I woke up after god knows how long and I was back in my bed at home. I looked over at my nightstand to discover my return ticket from Madagascar and a certificate proving that I went skydiving just sitting there. To this day,  I still kill every normal sized dragonfly that is unfortunate enough to fly within my grasp.